How men can support their brides-to-be

Marriage is a two way street, so why not cross it together?

Fellas, what do you envision when you hear the word "wedding planning?" 

• A long list of chores?
• A lot of stress?
• logistical nightmare after nightmare?

Guess what? You might be right on the money. Which means when the time comes to plan your own wedding, you need to be just as involved in the planning process as your bride-to-be. 

Remember, simply being present is not enough. Wedding planning is an all-consuming process that demands maturity and communication. Help your missus by pinning down your share of the planning and you won't just be telling her you love her; you'll be showing it. It's still nice to tell her, though.

This is not the definitive list by any means. Every couple is different and you should always check in with your partner. but based on the numerous couples we have worked with over the years, here is a handy list of some of the ways guys can support their brides during the lead up to the biggest day of your lives.

Photo by Jasmine Wallace Carter from Pexels

​Over-communicate 
When she says "I do," the real work begins.

At the beginning, a wedding can seem very daunting to plan. It's a blank canvas, ready for you and your bride to showcase the things that make your love special. To put it simply, it's a lot.

We won't sugar coat it. This is a prime time for arguing. With so many different kinds of wedding themes, vendors, contracts, not to mention smaller details like entertainment, song selections, all the way to the style of your champagne flutes and table cloths, it may feel like too many things to agree on. It's normal.

Some tips for remaining supportive as part of the process:

• Take it one step at a time - If all the available decisions are overwhelming you both, take a step back and refocus your efforts on the big stuff. 
• Express what's important to you - Just because you're tying the knot doesn't mean she knows what you're thinking. Make her aware of what things matter to you, and why. Even if some of those things don't end up in your wedding, it's important to feel heard and considered. A good tip for marriage in general.
• Talk to a wedding planner - Yeah we know. Wedding planning is kind of what we do here at Events Unleashed, so of course we'd tell you to seek one out. But oftentimes, the perspective of someone with valuable industry experience goes a long way in helping couples tackle planning challenges and find their creative footing. If a planner isn't in your budget, keep in mind that most offer free consultations to start with.

Guest wrangling
The bain of most newly-weds-to-be, getting an initial guestlist together can make a crazy person out of the best of us. Paring it down to something manageable can be even more vexing. But once the invitations are sent out, the job is far from done.

It's generally a good idea to divide guestlist upkeep so each of you manage your own side of the family. So track down any missing RSVP's, dinner orders, or any other kind of important details of your guests' experience. 

You should also be on top of the family drama that sometimes comes out of these preparations. Every family is different, but some issues may include:

• Certain members of the family not wishing to sit together. Tackle these issues now so there are no petty squabbles at dinner.
• When certain family members fail to RSVP, track them down and ensure that they are coming as well as any dietary preferences they may have.
• You'd hate for someone to miss some or all of the fun because of a late flight. If you have family flying in, air travel and accommodations are something you should be handling, or at least be aware of any details they need. This includes hotel block information if your wedding is making use of one, and ensure flight times are in line with your schedule. 

Style your own wedding day look
It might sometimes seem like your bride is putting way too much effort into her wedding day look. Keep in mind how important this day is for her, and that ultimately all the beautifying, buffing, hair styling and everything else is to look good for this incredible day. 

Show her you understand by taking some of the weight off her shoulders. Beyond simply being there for her to offer words of encouragement, take the initiative and work out your own wedding day ensemble. Schedule your suit fittings and stay on top of those appointments. If dieting is something you need to do, then do it. 

Lastly, most men will overlook the all-important haircut. If procrastinating is in your nature, give nature the boot this time. You should get your haircut no less than two weeks before your wedding day. This is recommended so that your trim has time to grow out if it's too close. 

Dancing
Lots of couples include a highly choreographed dance number as part of their wedding reception. Choreography takes a long time to learn, time you'll be spending in classes with strangers -- strangers who are going to be watching you learn to dance.

We get it. Learning something new is always a bit uncomfortable at first. Couple that with the precision you need to pull off solid choreography and the uncomfortable factor goes up considerably.

But even if you have no dance moves in your repertoire, putting your best foot forward goes a long way to showing your lady how much this means to you. A positive attitude, communication, and a lot of practice are key to a strong marriage, but they're also key to an unforgettable dance routine.


Write your vows far in advance
Procrastinators take note. Writing your vows might seem like the easiest part of the process. Or maybe you're not a writer and you're stuck on what you want to say.

Regardless of your writing expertise, your vows should be written out far in advance. All the best writers say that writing is only the beginning. Real writing happens during the re-writing stage, so be sure to have your vows ready. 

You can also share them with a close friend for some valuable feedback. The end result should be something from the heart.

Coordinate gifts for your groomsmen and bride
Remember that through all of the wedding planning process, your boys have your back. Show your best man and the rest of your groomsmen how much you appreciate their support with some groovy gifts. Traditionally these gifts include some kind of top shelf liquor, but nobody knows your crew quite like you. 

Don't forget to also have a wedding gift on hand for your bride. Something like champagne and a cute love note can do the trick.

The honeymoon
Sometimes couples enjoy planning things together, but use the honeymoon as a chance to plan little surprises for her. It's a good way to start the marriage on the best foot.

Tradition dictates that the groom plan the honeymoon, but in 2020, tradition is only part of the larger whole. You may find that planning a honeymoon works better together. Whatever the case, be prepared to do most of the coordinating for this on your own. Even if your bride wants to be involved, try to pepper in a few nice surprises for her once you reach your destination. There's no better way to make her feel loved. Except maybe...

Let her know you love her
With stress running wild, little shows of affection do wonders. Leave little love notes for your bride, or even some little gifts if they fit in your budget. Just make sure she knows that every step of the way, you've got this.

Be sure to check back for more planning tips & advice and follow us on our Instagram and Pinterest to stay up to date with our recent events and inspo. Let’s Unleash Together!
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Post written by Des Delgadillo for Events Unleashed.